Back to square one....

I've been dreading this for the last few days. We got a call on Sunday for our social worker that she had some bad news. The b-mom has decided to parent. I knew when she called that there was something wrong. I still think I'm in a daze, one day there's a baby and the next day there's not. I still am not sure how to feel, it's strange. Sometimes, I think I'm ok but then I smell my newborn nephew and it makes me want to cry or I'll see a pregnant woman and it starts all over again.
I knew it was possible, but I was really hoping that it wouldn't happen to us. So now, we wait. Working on the house has distracted me some, but it's the evening or when it's quiet that I actually start thinking about it. I know that I need to trust God and he obviously sees the bigger picture and knows the end result. But it's easier said than done.

We're in the home stretch

We made it through the weekend and now we're in the home stretch. Tonight we're going to finish up the last minute packing and sleep (which we're in desperate need of... and the baby isn't even here yet) Tomorrow night is our final walk through and we're going to take some measurements and pick up a couple of last minute things like curtains, a shower organizer, etc. Wednesday, we're getting my family here after work to load their cars so they are ready to move once we close on Thursday. Then Thursday is the big day, we close at 4 pm and we need to kick butt that night to get the 2 bedrooms painted, the carpet pulled up in the living room and my goal is to get the laundry room, the kitchen and the bathroom set up.
Then we have to work on Friday, but I'm only going in for half day while my family continues to work on the house. We're hoping to get the storage area set up as well as the baby's room Friday night.
We want to finish Saturday evening after the benefit so we have a chance to put things away on Sunday before we need to go back to work Monday morning.
Please, please, please pray for us... that God gives us strength this week as we have another marathon week as well as for the benefit dinner on Saturday, we are still needing to raise more funds for our adoption.

Ever have one of "those" days...or weeks?

I'll have to be honest... I don't think I can handle too much more. I'm already feeling the emotional ups and downs of the adoption process. I keep hearing the same questions? What if the b-mom changes her mind? What if we don't come up with enough money?
I know God is faithful and he says he won't give us more than we can handle, but, I'm nearing my breaking point. We close on our house Thursday so my entire house is in boxes right now, we have a family wedding this weekend and on top of it one of my close friends died on Monday.

By this time, I think I'm just in a daze. Getting up and dragging myself through the motions everyday. I have to admit by Wednesday I just needed some serious girlfriend time and just as I got home from meeting with one friend one of my other friends from out of town called and she was in town with someone and wanted to meet. But God seriously has a sense of humor because the "friend" that she brought was also in the adoption process and knew exactly how I was feeling.

Hallelujah, I'm not alone and I'm not crazy. I just might make it through.